practice your faith.

lately i have spent a lot of time running away from God. but you can only run so long before you start getting tired and you have to slow down. and eventually you are just shuffling your feet on autopilot. but you can only run so far until you must stop. well i finally ran out of energy and had to stop. and what i found out is no matter how far i choose to run away from God he will always be right there. lately i have messed up a lot. it seems like i have committed almost every sin in the book. and its not that i am mad at God, its more like i am ashamed to face him. but not having a relationship with God doesn't work for me. without God i am depressed. without God i am feel lost. actually i don't feel lost, i am lost.

but what i finally accepted is right now when it feels like i have messed up everything God is exactly the thing i need. i was talking to this lady about why my life is going like this. and she told me that sometimes God needs you to shake you a little a little for you to bring you back to Him.

just because things may have not happened like i planned and even if i did mess up pretty bad doesn't mean i have to sabotage my relationship with Christ because forgiveness lies in his arms only. i guess i had the idea stuck head that sense i made some bad choices that automatically made me a horrible Christian so it didn't matter how i acted.

well i am going to change because i need to start practicing my faith. in the fall i finally recognized that God was calling me into being a Chaplain in the Army. it may sound weird but i just know that is what i am supposed to be doing. and the way i see it maybe me messing stuff up will help me be able to help people even more. who knows.

i am just going to take life one day at a time.