the world we live in tells us that life is about quick fixes and getting what we want now. just think fast food, dsl, diet pills. we grow up thinking that if we want it we can have it. this creates a problem. from my experience in college i have noticed many students struggling with the fact that just because you know what you want does not mean you can have it. we think okay... i want to be a successful: have a career, financial security, and a family. but these things can't be express mailed. they take time and work. having a successful career more than likely takes a college education. the other day i was thinking that i would just like to skip over all this junk and get to the good stuff.

for me personally i want to be able to help people. part of me thinks sometimes that it would be more effective to just drop out of school and be a missionary. i feel somewhat useless sometimes going to school. who am i helping here. but perhaps i have been overlooking the people here i can serve. i am so focused on the future i am forgetting about the present. people say it all the time but i am finally finding truth in the whole life is too short thing. so i need to find the enjoyment in seemingly insignificant things in life. maybe even my homework... maybe. this sounds nerdy but when i walk to the bus stop from work at night i get the best feeling. i try to walk slowly and just take in my surroundings. it is crazy how big this world is and i am just one person. i am totally in awe with gods creation. and yep i sound like a nerd.

okay i have a few side notes. one is i hate stereotypes. especially those of homeless people. so i will continue to give money to people on the streets and talk to them. maybe i am crazy but i don't care.

finally i was wondering since god created everything does that mean he created evil?
according to isaiah 45:7 god said.

I form the light and create darkness,
I bring prosperity and create disaster;
I, the LORD, do all these things.

to me this means yes. but i think i am going to have to think on this one for awhile. i really need to stop doing this so late at night because it makes my head go crazy.